Aaaahh, Blog Gods, how are the mighty fallen….(actually scratch that, scratch that…in order for the “mighty” to fall they need to be “mighty” in the first place. I’m mighty in many ways but my blog-game could use some “might”, no?)
Annnnyhow…. Here we are, another Summer already seeming like nostalgia and another Fall comes a’ courtin. There is always something consoling about the change of a season, and this sly shift into Autumn after such a crazy summer is of particular importance to me. A little cool-down after running the engines too hot is always welcome in my book. Deep breath, pause, reboot. Plus I love sweaters and tea and tomato soup.
It’s now MORE than two weeks after returning from the illustrious Peak Performance Bootcamp, and I doubt I’m alone here, but the whole experience feels a bit like a mirage at this point, or like when Dorothy finally wakes up after the intense Oz fiasco (and yes, she was happy to be home, but i bet she wished upon waking that she could still see in color). Apart from being set in the most beautiful storybook spot, it was, from start to finish, one of the most supportive and loving environments I’ve ever been in. Not just love and support from a FEW people but from EVERYONE. Pretty incredible. Get that many people together and you’re bound to experience at least a LITTLE discord aren’t you? That’s what I thought. But it was nothing but smiles and laughter, positive reinforcement, and MUUUUSIC. I feel so honored to have shared space with so many incredibly talented people…. We could have solved the energy crisis with all that live, electric, music-fueled energy. Such wonderful, wonderful people. For the rest of my life I will feel bonded to every single one of them, kinda the way war-vets feel bonded, only we didn’t experience any death or destruction- we dropped song-bombs. Actually the title of “bootcamp” always seemed like far too harsh of a word for what it was….”Bootcamp” to me connotates scary dudes yelling at everyone and trying their hardest to break down your psyche until you’re nothing but a sniveling baby sobbing yourself to sleep, quakin’ in your shiny boots, scrubbin floors with toothbrushes, droppin’ and giving em’ 20…. But….no one yelled at me. No one. I didn’t do even ONE pushup. I used a toothbrush but only to clean my own teeth, and every night I welcomed sleep but was excited to wake up again.
After withdrawals from such a week, after settling back into reality where no, not everyone is pleasant all the time and people DO insist on doing things that aren’t music related (those crazy freaks), I find myself only a few days away from my Red Room showcase! It has seemed so far in the distance for so long, and now, poof! Here it is. It’s like Hemingway said, “Gradually….then suddenly”…

I can’t wait to get up on stage again. On top of my bootcamp showcase, it will be only the second show of my life where it is just me, alone, on stage with a live band. I must admit it felt strange to have ALL that space up there, and ALL those eyes on me when I’m more used to sharing the stage with collaborators. I imagine it will get easier everytime…. I have loved the first two rounds of showcases- everyone is doing SO well and in a weird way I feel like the beyond-proud mum at the school plays that takes way too many pictures and cries through every song (ok, I don’t cry through every song, c’mon- although The Current Swell’s “I Want a Bird” and of course, “Brad’s Song” got me AGAIN last week…aaah, you boys…)


Comments (2)

2 thoughts on “FALL FORWARD

  1. Such a way with words as always Ash! So excited and delighted for you to get to have this most amazing musical experience sweet songbird!!!

  2. Ugh……this is why you rule my world. So real, so true, so you….always. I know this wasn’t MEANT to be a tear jerker, but it jerked the tears right outta my eyes. I love you so much, you are just so beautiful in every possible way. xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>